Author Archives: Unfrozencavebear

About Unfrozencavebear

Cave Bear is a surviving cave bear (Ursus Spelaeus) who once roamed the mountains of Pleistocene Europe, growing in size and wisdom through several lifetimes. Fated to be the last of his race, several millennia ago he was forced by storm, ice and marauding Cro-Magnons into a mountain cave where his body froze, becoming dormant for aeons. Cave Bear spent most of the holocene epoch observing the world only in distant dreams, mind, will, and spirit growing all the while. Occasionally worshipped as a god through the ancient and medieval periods, he only fully emerged from hypothermic hibernation in the ninth-century, woken by a group of vikings with requests for power and wisdom. Knowing, by this point, what he did of the world's eternality and nature, and through this knowledge having gained an immortality beyond the physical, Cave Bear at first granted both the requested boons. Despite this auspicious beginning, however, the vikings' relationship with Cave Bear would grow continually more complicated with time, until, in 1341, disturbed and alienated by the course upon which he saw the world proceeding, Cave Bear returned to the ice. In recent centuries historians, between bouts of speculation over the true location of Cave Bear's lair (the so-called 'philosopher's stone for historians'), have associated the period of Cave Bear's medieval wakefulness with the 'Medieval Warm Period' of 800-1200, while correlating his retreat from the upper world with the 'Little Ice Age' that began circa 1400. Regardless, in 2004, Cave Bear emerged from hibernation once more, only to find the mystic culture of man, nature, and fate largely gone, shamanism and pantheism everywhere driven to the world's darkest margins: tiny tribes scattered deep in several rainforests and various obscure works of literature by men of dubious taste and intellectual stability. In his current arousal, Cave Bear writes syndicated columns on anthropoid culture, philosophy, and world affairs, while his ancient doom lies dormant in the shadows, and his once-human enemy Sigurd Bear-breaker sharpens his axe, Blood-gulper, and waits. Cave Bear's work has appeared in Harper's, Arts and Antiques, and Ethos Reactor, among other publications, and some sources have tied him to the mysterious 2008 mauling and subsequent toxic-waste-dump death of philosopher Jacques Bearrida. Cave Bear currently resides in an internet-capable cave at an undisclosed location.

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